


A straightforward man

by ArthursKnight



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Character/Reader - Freeform, Cuddly times, Cute Ending, F/M, Merle Dixon/Reader - Freeform, depressed reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 19:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14002524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthursKnight/pseuds/ArthursKnight
Summary: When you feel like the world is against you, Merle decides to surprise you





	A straightforward man

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been relapsing a bit... and I just needed to feel better. So I wrote this. I love Merle, I wish he was real and I could actually cuddle him... and just... yes

Papers fell on the ground.

You dropped your ripped, useless bag on the floor. When it connected with the ground, it made a loud sound that echoed in the limited space.

“Oh come on! It was just a small hole…” you sighed, on the verge of tears.

Bowing down to retrieve the fallen documents, you squinted your eyes in the poorly lit corridor. With fast, angry movements, you re-organized your weekly to-do lists and notes. 

Highlighted marks showed your busy schedule, your achievements you hadn’t met, and the exams you failed and had to take again. Things that just piled over each other, driving you crazy. 

Everyone expected so much of you. And you couldn’t make anyone happy. Not even yourself. Especially yourself. 

This week, the panic attacks had escalated, making you feel inferior, useless and worthless and worsening your depression. 

And to put the cherry on top, people had kept asking you questions you had no answers for. Such as when you would finally marry. Settle down. Do something with your life. You regretted every single minute you had spent socializing these past few days.

You grabbed the broken bag. More things fell down, including the keys. You picked them up and unlocked the door.

“Bless it.”

You entered your house, not even turning on the light. Throwing everything you held on the kitchen counter, you grabbed some water from the fridge and headed to the living room. You let yourself fall on the couch with a long sigh that turned into a groan as you tried to relax your muscles.

“Finally home,” you mumbled as you shoved off your short boots. Your feet, free from restrictions and cold from the chilly air, didn't fit on the couch, so you rose your knees to your chest.

The dead silence in your house was a blessing and a curse at the same time.

You surely needed the quiet, after such a sensory overload during the time spent outside.

Every one of your muscles ached. 

You just wanted to take the longest depression nap you could and call it a day. 

After all, your energies had extinguished. You didn’t think you had any more spoons for the rest of the evening. 

Yet, you imagined the touch of your boyfriend, his strong arms holding you. His raspy voice ringed in your ears, familiar and soothing. You missed the cuddling and, even if less, the sex.

Wondering where Merle was, you took out your phone to see if he’d sent any texts. Nothing.

The clock on your screen signaled it was eight p.m.

Merle worked hard and long hours, but by this time he was usually always home. Usually being the keyword. 

For a few weeks now Merle had started to come home late, and you couldn’t help but think he had someone else. Someone that wasn’t a self-centered depressed idiot. Someone that could satisfy him.

Tears came to your eyes, but you wiped them off angrily. 

It was stupid of you to think of Merle cheating. Merle was a straightforward man. He would tell you to your face if he didn’t love you anymore. Right?

It seemed to you like you couldn't do anything right. Not pass your exams. Not have a healthy relationship with your family. Not take care of yourself. Not even spend time doing your hobbies or loving your man right.

The thought of taking the razor blade crossed your mind, but getting up from the couch was too much work. And then you remembered Merle had caught you using them to hurt yourself and had thrown them all out. Even if you had the force to go fetch them, they were gone for good.

Despite your tiredness and sadness that was really more of a emptiness, you decided to send him a text: “Can you come over later? Miss you.”

Sent. Delivered. Visualized.

A few minutes passed. No answer from Merle. He logged out. 

Your heartbeat quickened, and your anxiety kicked in. You took a few long breaths, trying to relax, and sighed. 

_ He must just be busy _ , you thought.  _ Yeah _ .  _ But… doing what? _

Your heart hurt in your chest, and you decided that taking a nap, or just lying there, would be the best course of action. Hopefully, there wouldn’t be dreams.

You put the cellphone on the coffee table and turned your body to face the back of the couch. Closing your eyes, you wished for Merle to be there.

 

When you woke up, the first thing you became aware of was the firm yet gentle hand caressing your head. And a soft murmuring, like a song that you couldn't quite recognize.

You sniffled, blinking a few times, and when you finally woke up you found yourself cuddled in Merle's lap, his strong arm around you. You didn’t remember when it happened, but you felt relieved he did that.

“Hey, sweet-cheeks,” Merle smiled at you, then kissed your forehead. His arms were warm against your skin. “Sorry it took so long, I was kind of busy.”

_ As always _ . You kept the thought to yourself. After all, the man had a right to seek out someone that could satisfy him. And that someone wasn’t you, with your inexpert moves.

“Hey, Merle…” you answered with a small smile. 

Merle smiled back and pointed with his chin to the table, where a warm cup of coffee sat.

“Thought you’d need it after the nap,” he laughed. “You turn into a zombie whenever you wake.”

“Thanks.” You took it, looking at the dark drink before blurting out: “I didn’t think you would actually come...”

He frowned as if he hadn’t expected you to say that, and you could see in his eyes that what you said had hurt him more than he wanted to let on.

Great. Another thing you did wrong. Was there an end to the madness?

“Why?” Merle pursed his lips, tightening his hold on you.

“I guessed you didn’t want to spend time with me anymore,” you shrugged and tried to sit up, but Merle kept you close to him. “I am... I am pretty sure you found someone else by now-”

“What? The fuck you sayin’, girl?” Merle growled, and it sent a shiver down your spine. It was rare for him to be angry at you, but you could feel this time you had really fucked up. You regretted even speaking up.

For a moment you feared he was going to hit you, but he didn’t. Instead, his fingers wandered up your arm, where your scars were starting to fade. 

It reminded you of when he found out you hurt yourself, and he did the same thing. As if his touch could soothe the pain.

If you were honest with yourself, it did.

“I just-” You muttered, averting his eyes. “You hardly ever want to stay with me anymore. Guessed you prolly didn’t love me anymore.” 

You shrugged. It had been obvious to you, but maybe the assumption was wrong. The doubt still crept on you. Why would he stay away so much if he didn’t have someone else?

Merle kept quiet for a while as if trying to find the right words. He looked at you, then made a prolonged sigh.

“Y/N,” he kissed the top of your head, and let you sit next to him, but still held you close. 

It was amazing how big he looked compared to you, how he could hold you so completely just with his arm. “Why would you think that?” He took your cheek in his free hand and kissed your nose. “I know I haven’t been home much…” His blue eyes bored into yours. They were warm. A warmness he hardly ever let anyone see. “But it was necessary.”

“For what?” you asked as you frowned. The moment of truth you were expecting seemed to get closer, and it made your stomach hurt.

“First tell me why yer thinking I dun’ want ye anymore.” His voice had a serious tone, the one he used when he wanted to make sure you understood he wasn’t fooling around. “I want to know.”

“Well…” you gulped, scared of speaking. “I know my depression is giving you issues. And that I’m not your kind of girl.”

Merle cocked an eyebrow, but kept quiet, waiting for you to continue.

“I’m a depressed fatass that can’t even have sex-”

“That’s not your fault.” he sighed. “And sex is not the only thing I’m with ye for. It’s just...” he tilted his head, trying to find the right words. “A nice addition.”

“I know!” You urged. You felt the tears prickle in your eyes, yet you forced yourself not to cry. “But I know you have needs that I cannot satisfy.”

“You do.”

“Sure!” you snorted. Merle was clearly trying to make you feel better, but his lies hurt. “I’m so stupid that I cannot get hints. And I am ugly, and I know you’d prefer one of those pretty girls at the bar-”

“Hey, none of that, girl.” Merle gently slapped you. “Y/N, for how long have ye been thinking this stupid stuff?”

He pushed you down so that your back hit the couch and he was over you. His arms were on either side of you, and you could feel his breath on your skin.

You kept quiet and held your breath, grabbing at his wife-beater.

“Yer beautiful.” He kissed your forehead. “The prettiest gal. And smart,” he whispered, then kissed your nose. “Well, maybe a bit oblivious, that’s true,” he went to kiss you and smiled against your lips, then took something out of his back pocket. “And I love you just as you are.”

Merle opened a little box in front of your eyes. Inside, a ring with a small diamond stared back at you.

“What?” You let out, observing the object. “Merle…”

Merle kissed you and hugged you close, almost painfully.

“I needed the extra hours to buy this, girly.” 

You kissed him, and let the tears flow down.

“I'm sorry. I love you.”

“It's okay. I know it's not your fault.” He smirked that cocky smirk of his and gently bit your neck. “But don't you ever doubt me again.”

“Never!”

**Author's Note:**

> please comment :)


End file.
